Saturday, March 21, 2009

A bunch of crap

Sometimes my sense of humor is in the toilet... (You realize I meant that literally right?) Tonight it's triple strength. I'm sorry ahead of time.

A North Carolina woman had a very bad day on Friday. She had $400 in cash that she planned on depositing in the bank but it was instead deposited in her dog. That's right, her greater Swiss mountain dog ate it. He was adding some ruff-age to his diet...

It worked too because when the woman took her dog for a walk, the money um, showed back up. She gathered up the pieces of three $100 and five $20 bills and washed them off with the garden hose. She's hoping to get enough pieces back to turn it in to the bank and get her money replaced. Surely they have some kind of recycling program at the bank...

Oh yes, and according to the story I read "A professor at the North Carolina State University Veterinary School said the money shouldn't hurt the dog." I know that's what I'd be worried about.


Let's move this conversation inside. Ok, sort of inside...Port-a-Potty kind of inside. I'll even provide you with some music. Do you like Bob Dylan?

Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you that people in Malibu are complaining about Bob Dylan's Port-a-Potty(s). Specifically they're complaining about their smell. Yep, Bob Dylan is stinkin' up the joint! We may not want to go to his place after all...

His neighbors, Cindy and David Emminger, said that the toilet fumes are being carried by breezes from the Pacific Ocean and making their family ill. David Emminger said "Mr. Civil Rights is killing our civil rights!"

Wow. Bummer. Totally dude.

Ok, now that the hippie is out of my system, I'm thinking we should hook Bob Dylan up with Clorox. They're having quite the Port-a-Potty issue themselves right now.

Just down the road in San Franscico, somebody has torched more than two dozen construction site toilets and caused an estimated $50,000 in property damage. Clorox isn't having it. They want it to stop.

They want it to stop so badly that they're willing to pay. It's true. They're offering $5000 PLUS (and this is the best part if you ask me but I'm a clean freak)
a year's supply of toilet cleaning products for tips leading to the arrest of "San Francisco's notorious portable potty pyromaniac". (I totally admit I was rolling on the floor at that nickname. If you really think about it, that's a lot of pee's...)

Ahem, sorry.

*All puns in this story were completely intentional :D


Jill said...

Kathy... I think I would have to dive in and get that money out of my dogs tummy..


morrow said...

That was a super funny entry. Thanks for making me laugh.

maryt/theteach said...

Bwahahahahahaha, Kathy!

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