Thursday, March 27, 2014

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Noooooooo. Not Christmas..... VACATION!! Yep, I'm all footloose and fancy free this week. Yeah, I know it's Thursday and my vacation is nearing it's end and I'm just now talking to you....sorry, been enjoying the peace and quiet too much. Didn't do anything exciting. Didn't go anywhere. Just doing whatever....stuff like sitting around in my sweats all day and eating macaroni and cheese straight out of the pan....wait....what? Um, yeah. Anyway...I'm enjoying this beautiful Spring vacation. I hope y'all are having a good week too!

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Thursday, March 20, 2014

I still don't wanna

I'm feeling very carefree today. And young. That doesn't happen too often since I passed the 40 year mark (50 year mark coming up in a little over 3 years....get ready for that fun.). I think I'll be a kid today.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

But I don't wanna....

Sometimes you find yourself in the past....and it's a beautiful place. This is a post I wrote in 2008. It made me feel good and I decided, since nobody would ever get to read it in it's home (a blog that is closed now), then I should post it here.

Are you ready? Good.

Come walk with me...

But I don't wanna...

I decided to take a walk this morning. That’s a little unusual for me but not unheard of… I do take walks, just not that often. I’m more of a homebody and I can admit, I have lazy moments.

Obviously this morning’s walk was not normal. Now that I think about it nothing this morning has been normal. The entire day up to and including this moment has been very surreal. I can see words typing onto the page but I’m disconnected from them in some way. I feel like I’m floating above the world and watching everything happen. It’s like I’m not a part of it except as an observer. It’s very odd.

When I take my walks I usually just wander over the hill and around town a while. We live in a fairly small town. I like looking at the older houses. I like looking at their yards too. I’m not sure what my fascination is with yards but I always feel the need to see the whole thing. I’ve been known to walk around the block just to see the rest of someone’s yard. I’m just funny like that.

I assumed that I would do the same as usual when I set out on my walk this morning. If I had actually concentrated on that thought the old saying about what assume means would have popped into my head. But I didn’t think about it. I was unattached. I started towards the hill like always and I noticed a new Longhorn flag that someone had hung from their porch. I stopped to look at it. It was nice. I had a brief thought of “I want one” and then I was walking again.

I’m not completely sure where I was during that time. I don’t mean physically. I'm sure you knew that. I do know I was very deep in thought but honestly can’t tell you what I was thinking about. I must have worked it out with myself because now I feel much calmer than I did when I woke up.

I stepped on something. I think it was a stick. It made a very loud noise underneath me and I snapped my head up, eyes wide and panicky. I was in a field. I was in the woods. I was in both at the same time! I saw a blur of darkness cross in front of me. I had a distant feeling that I was going to faint and I thought “I need to sit down.” That’s just what I did, sat down. Hard. That got my attention!

I sat there looking at everything and finally actually seeing where I was for probably ten minutes. It was beautiful. All around me was perfect calm and complete life at the same time. The birds were singing. I could hear small animals bumbling their way through the woods around me. I had a childish urge to go and watch them. Maybe even catch them. But my grown up self knew they would run and hide as soon as I got within smelling distance. They would be afraid of me.

I felt so disappointed by that thought. And sad. And grown up. That was the worst part. When I was a child I would never have hesitated. Not even for a second. I would have been off in the woods, yelling heeeeeeeere lil critter and laughing until I couldn’t breathe.

Most days the memory of that little country girl running around barefoot, dirty and happy stays in the back of my mind. It’s not that I don’t like her, quite the opposite really. I just forget about her. That’s another bad part about being a grown up. Pushing the memories of my carefree days of childhood further and further away and replacing them with things like when the power bill is due or what I’m going to cook for supper. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid again. Not having to worry about all that stuff.

But then I think about my children. And all the things I’ve had the opportunity to see and do. I would never want to give any of that back. So I guess I’m stuck with the grown up me. It’s a pretty good deal. I suppose I will always miss that little girl though. I’m glad I got to see her this morning, even if just for a minute. Her memory always makes me smile.

 Me in 1968

 My sissy Pammie (on the teeter-totter) and Me in 1973

 Me & my sissy Pammie in 1974

In order, starting with Shorty (that's what we called her growing up), my step-sister Adrianne, my step-brother David, my sissy Pammie & Me in 1978 (and yes, those are bell bottoms. Everyone was wearing them. Leave me alone.)

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Friday, March 14, 2014

Yes love, I shall return to you some day

The writer in me sometimes stays quiet for awhile. Then, some little bug in the back of my brain starts growing and making noise. I sometimes read back over things I wrote years ago and think, yes, that is what I'm supposed to do. Create scenes with words. And have people appreciate it for what it is.

Below is a post I wrote on my original blog in 2009. I've included the comments because they made me smile and that's what this is all about: Smiles.

One final comment before I share the post (because you know I can never shut up): This repost was inspired by my friend Robin on Facebook. Just wanted to share the love. On with the show....

From my seat

Amid the bustling bodies and scowling jaws
Bright and beautiful, shining through with its own light
Carefully I look at it, measuring its truth
Doubting that it’s real I look away
Each face I see is concentrating
Fighting over the days many chores in their minds
Green, blue, brown. The eyes streak past
Hurrying to the next appointment
I see them all from where I sit
Just a girl who studies people
Kings and peasants alike. They all have a story to tell
Long days spent running from place to place
Meetings and kids and dinner
Nights spent in fantasies and dreams
One day the work they do will allow them to live their dreams
Pleasant days will surely come
Quickly my eyes shoot to the left
Radiant light is again before me
Something whispers “Don’t look away”
The light fills my eyes and my heart
Ugly thoughts are swept away
Visions of kind acts take their place
Women, men and children living in harmony
Xanadu enters my mind at the sight of this wonder
You won’t believe what stood before me
Zombies!? No. It was a smiling face.
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10 of my friends had this to say..:

blueviolet said...
That was incredible. I could see everything you were seeing and saying. I really loved this!
Coco said...
You did an excellent job. Wow.

MyLinda said...
Great poem, you have talent!
CDB said...
Oh this is lovely! I really enjoyed this!
Charli and me said...
Wow! That is amazing Kathy. You did an excellent job :>)
pam said...
Very talented poet!!
Kristen said...
Wow, that is so good. I like it!
CJ said...
Great poem. I thought that prompt would be too difficult ---so I thought few would choose it, but every one I read was great.
Jenners said...
You really have some poetry skills here! This was great! I could see why you gravitated to this prompt! And I could not agree more with the sentiment!
Mama Kat said...
Wow!! I agree with everyone else, the detail you use makes me feel like I was right there with you. Smiling. :)

And great work with the letter X! This was excellent!

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Friday, March 7, 2014

Don't panic!

Facebook is down. Now we won't be able to see who is bored or hungry. I don't know if I can handle the not knowing. I must know. COME BACK FACEBOOK, COME BACK!! OK, I feel better now. Here's something to keep you entertained while we wait for our social life to come back online...

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