Oops!

The police are chasing you! Where should you go? Oh, look! There's a fence! Get over it quick! Oops...dang.

It's a prison yard. 

Yep. That's just what a dumb criminal in Cleveland did. After leading police through a suburb and several communities the goober decided to exit his car and jump a fence to try to escape. The fence surrounded a state women's prison. I bet that was a shock to him!

He was arrested and so were his buddies that were with him. He deserves this award...

An end, an Elvis and a loss

Of course you know the first story that caught my eye while reading my morning news was about PCA (Peanut Corp of America). Federal officials now say PCA intentionally sent out products that were contaminated with salmonella. I’ve been trying to tell people but I guess those particular people don’t read my blog.

The story also said that the USDA was one of PCA’s biggest clients. While USDA officials did regularly visit the plant in Blakely Georgia, they were not trained in food safety and basically did no more than read reports while they were there. This week the USDA ended their business connection to PCA. Peanut butter from that plant was sent out for use in free lunch programs in California, Minnesota and Idaho.

As of today the salmonella outbreak has caused 575 illnesses in 43 states and at least 8 deaths. There are now 1679 products on the recall list.

The second story that caught my eye today came out of Florida and involves Elvis. That’s really what caught my eye. The first line of the story read “Elvis has left the vehicle.” I had a giggle and just had to read the whole story.

The 46 year old man named Elvis Alonzo Barrett racked up quite a few traffic violations. More than 50 actually. All in the same day.

Apparently his license had been suspended and he panicked when officers tried to pull him over. Police chased him during which time he ran red lights, crashed into a fence and into another car. He received tickets for everything from possession of a crack pipe all the way down to not wearing his seat belt.

The last thing I really paid attention to before starting my daily blogs was my Dead or Alive feed. James Whitmore has died at the age of 87 from lung cancer. He was an actor. He appeared in the films The Asphalt Jungle, Give ‘em Hell, Harry, and many others. My favorite movie that he performed in was The Shawshank Redemption.

To catch a thief... in aisle 3?

You just finished shopping at your local Walmart. Your items are on the conveyor belt heading toward the cashier. Seven pairs of jeans, four pair of slacks, a pair of scrubs, a bra, a sweat suit, a picture frame, laundry detergent, diapers, pizza, coffee, four 12-packs of drinks, canned vegies, air freshener, nachos, noodles, some frozen stuff, chips, ground beef, and a baby crib…total? $5.25. What?!

Yep. A 20 year old Natchez Mississippi Walmart employee was arrested for attempting to sell her friend $547.50 worth of merchandise for five bucks. The story in the Mississippi newspaper doesn’t say HOW they were busted for rolling back prices on their own, just that the 22 year old woman never left the store with the products.

What were they thinking? Oh wait, I know, they were thinking they could get away with it. I bet that kind of thing happens all the time but no one notices. With all the beeping going on from other registers around them I imagine it’d be easy to do. And unless you are involved in security for the store, you more than likely wouldn’t be watching the screen to see what was being rung up. Plus those people that stand at the exit doors and check peoples receipts only do that if something is out of a bag. That’d be easy to prevent too.

I’m not trying to encourage people to steal by explaining how easy it would be. I’m actually very disgusted by these people that think it’s ok to steal. They try to argue that it’s a big store (Walmart) so they can afford the loss but I believe even if they could afford the loss, we’re the ones that pay for it in increased prices so they didn‘t hurt that big store. They hurt me.

Everyone I know has worked hard their whole lives and paid for everything they own. I have no patience for people that won’t earn their own keep. And even less patience for those that want to take out of my pocket.

So needless to say, I’m happy these women were caught and arrested. I hope they at least get a hefty fine. And as far as the cashier goes, I hope it’s noted on her work record so that she doesn’t get the opportunity to raise prices in another store that I shop at.

A once a day tablet....um, huh?

I have the blah’s today. Or maybe it’s just a case of the lazies. I just don’t feel like getting off the couch. Yesterday I didn’t feel like getting dressed so I spent the whole day in my pj’s but I did actually get things accomplished. This morning however, well let’s just say it’s not going as well.

So I’ve dragged my pillow and blanket to the couch and have blasted my eyes with all the TV I can stand to watch. That’s going ok. Monk was on. Then Psych. Those are two of my favorite shows. Now my judge shows have begun. I like those too. But I have a complaint…

What is the deal with all the male enhancement ads? Seriously. They are really getting on my nerves. I don’t think there’s any shame in going to your doctor and getting some help with any issues you may have. But why do they feel the need to plaster it all over my TV? Every other commercial break they manage to slip one in (pun most definitely NOT intended).

When the Enzyte commercials first came out with smiling Bob, I let a little giggle slip out at them. Then the Viagra commercials started and, as I’m sure they intended, I found myself singing the song when it was on. I’d be washing dishes, minding my own business, not thinking about male enhancement AT ALL, and *poof* Viva Viaaaagra would come drifting out of my mouth. Ugh.

Now there are male enhancement commercials everywhere you look and I think they are just ridiculous. The Zencore Plus commercials are the worst in my opinion. I think they have really crossed a line.

Before you start judging me and thinking I’m some kind of prude let me tell you what I believe. I believe sex is good. I believe it should be kept privately between consenting adults in their homes and not on my TV. If I want to see it on my TV there are plenty of places that will rent me videos.

I especially don’t believe I should see these commercials on family channels or in between family movies. For example, the other night I was watching Willie Wonka. I adore that movie. I was enjoying my millionth viewing of it, commercial time, WHAT? You guessed it, Zencore Plus. I went from kids and chocolate and silly songs to a man ‘getting it on’ with first one woman in an elevator, then a second woman only minutes later.

What I thought about that was this:

1. How many kids are watching this specific showing of Willie Wonka and now seeing this commercial?
2. How many of those kids now think it’s cool to be with multiple partners?
3. How about multiple partners in the same day/hour/minutes?
4. Why don’t they show them LATE when kids will be in bed?
5. Why show them at all? Don’t people see their doctors for things like that?

What do you think? Do you think it’s ok to show these commercials? Do you think they promote sexual promiscuity? Or do you think they are a legitimate item that needs to be advertised? I’d love to hear all your opinions on this matter. I’d like to know if I‘m the only one that feels this way about these commercials. Maybe I’m just seeing them wrong…

And the winner is...

Some of my favorite news stories involve people that aren’t all together there. You know what I mean, they’re a few crackers short of a box, their elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor, they’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.

These criminals tickle me. Not that I like the fact that they are criminals. I don’t like criminals. But I do think the stories written about them are too funny and in most cases they get caught because of their less than genius actions.

I like to give them awards. They are ‘boobie awards’ in my mind. These people do things or say things that 99.9% of the general population believes to be unintelligent.

Usually I’m the only one that is aware this award was given. I don’t normally talk about them. They are silent awards. Just for me. I assume most people agree with me and that makes it unnecessary to announce them.

But this week I just couldn’t keep the winner to myself. I found this particular criminal SO unbelievably deserving of the award that I felt the need to announce it. So without further ado, the winner of this weeks ‘boobie award’ goes to…

Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights, Ohio

Feliks decided to rob a bank. He prepared himself by donning a ski mask and grabbing his toy gun. He then went into the crowded bank and patiently waited in line amongst the other bank customers for his turn while wearing the mask. When he reached the teller she told him to remove the mask, he said no and showed her his toy gun. He took some money and left only to be caught a few minutes later thus securing his place as my ‘boobie award‘ recipient of the week.

As an added note, Feliks also wins my prize for the weirdest original spelling of their name. I think he even beat Meyghan.