Is it discipline or abuse? I say it's stupidity

Reading my morning news as usual, I came across a story that left me somewhat speechless. I wasn’t speechless because I had no opinion about the story. I was speechless because I had so many things to say about it I couldn’t figure out where to start!

Now that I’ve settled down a little bit, I guess I’ll start with the details of the story…

It was about a 9 year old boy who’s father had charges of child abuse filed against him for shooting the 9 year old in the butt with a BB gun. The man faces 6 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. The boy wrote an essay about the incident, the teacher turned it in to the police and the man was arrested. He was released on bond but was given the instructions to not threaten or engage in any acts of violence against his son and not to engage in physical discipline of any child. In the story the father was quoted as saying “I knew right away it was a stupid thing I did.” He shot the boy in the butt when he wouldn’t move away from the front of the TV.

Here’s what I thought:

1. We’re talking about a 9 year old. They embellish things. They make things way more exciting than they really were. If you’ve ever read a 9 year olds “How I spent my summer” essay then you know what I’m talking about. It’s incredibly cool and quite entertaining 10 years later when you read it but I don’t think you should take each word as gospel. Some things may not be the actual way it happened.

2. We’re talking about a 9 year old. It was an incredibly stupid thing that this father did. A 9 year olds reflexes and/or thought processes are not developed enough to decide in a split second if they need to move or not and then move. I’ve seen 9 year olds stand there and watch as something came hurtling through the air and smacked into their face/arm/stomach.

3. Are there no investigations done? Do the police just come into your home and arrest you because your 9 year old said you did something? I know the man admitted that he did it and apparently there was a BB in a butt, but it doesn’t seem like it was done in an overly hateful way. I don’t think he wanted to injure his child. Just make him move. I’ll repeat that what he did was an incredibly stupid thing. But I can see it happening. You’re watching TV, the kid won’t move, you’re favorite whatever is on and it’s been a long day… you’re irritated. He shouldn’t have taken his irritation out on his kid but I can see it happening.

4. 6 years in prison and a $10,000 fine?!? Ok, what he did just turned into a really, really, incredibly stupid thing. Seriously. That seems a little excessive for a BB in the butt. Especially when I can go online and see all the child molesters that live in my neighborhood. I just feel so much better now that this BB shooter will be locked up. Idiots.

5. He was ordered not to engage in any acts of violence against his son. I didn’t realize popping off a BB gun was an act of violence. At one point in my life I lived with acts of violence. I would happily trade those days for an irritated “You’re blocking the TV! Move!” POP! But then I think, yeah, that wasn’t cool. It WOULD hurt. (It still could have been worse.)

6. I started to wonder who would keep a BB gun within reach of their couch but then I remembered some friends of mine that did have guns (BB and otherwise) sitting in the corner of the living room or propped up by a chair. They weren’t gangsters or anything *lol* they were country folk. Nuff said.

7. He was ordered not to engage in physical discipline of any child. What he did was not discipline. He let his irritation control his brain and his brain acted badly. It was not his shining moment.

Things have really changed since I was a kid. I can remember my father telling me to go in his closet and choose the belt that I wanted him to use to whip me. You had to choose well. If you brought a tiny one out he’d go get a bigger one and you’d get extra licks. If you were bold and brought the big one to start out you got extra licks for being a smartass. It was best to just stay towards the middle and hope you chose right. That was the way it was and you behaved correctly to avoid those long walks to the closet thinking about how bad your butt was going to hurt when it was over and hoping that maybe this time you wouldn’t get more than 5 swats. That was our discipline: training through pain aversion.

I just don’t think what the father did was so bad. I can definitely think of worse. I guess my wrapped up opinion is the thought that keeps drifting into my head… It was an incredibly stupid thing to do.


I'd like to add a note here. I added this to my comments but sometimes you may not read the comments so I wanted to say it here too. I in no way thought it was ok for the man to shoot his son. On my #3 thought I was only saying I could understand how the man could react the way he did. I would never shoot my child with anything (except maybe a rubberband and that would be playing not anger) and he was definitely wrong for doing that!

It could have been SO much worse

When my daughter was in her infant and toddler years, her father and I lived basically in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded by woods and a wonky, practically straight down hill that had a twisting road cut through the middle of it. There was a lot of wildlife. You could watch whole groups of animals cross that road if you were quiet and sat in just the right spot. There were bears, wolves, even a panther that stayed on top of that hill and screamed like a murder victim in the middle of the night. I thought they were beautiful creatures but I’m no fool, they were dangerous too.

So we kept guns. I loathe guns. I grew up with military parents and was made to learn how to shoot. Our father would take us out to our Uncle Alfred’s ranch and set up targets and we’d all take a turn. If we didn’t do well, we’d take three or four turns. Perfection was a big thing in my family growing up. But I learned and I can handle a gun if it’s required of me.

There were many weeks that I sat alone in that log cabin with a young baby as my only company. I had to protect her as much as I had to protect myself. So the guns were there. Luckily I never had to shoot anything although one time I did fire it into the air because a brown bear was on the hill directly next to the house. I could see it out the kitchen window! And I really didn’t want it to get comfortable there.

I don’t consider myself anti-gun even though I hate them. I believe there are times that a gun is the only answer. And I don’t consider myself pro-gun either. I’d rather not have one in my house and do not have one now that I live somewhere that all the animals are either in peoples houses or behind cages in the zoo.

I saw in the news where a four year old in Ohio shot his 18 year old babysitter because he stepped on his foot. The fact that he shot someone out of anger at four years old is a whole different story but for him to be able to get to a gun and actually shoot someone is shocking. Why wasn’t it locked up? We always kept the guns in a gun cabinet behind bulletproof glass (yes, I know) and two locks with the keys being kept in different very out of reach places. I just can’t imagine leaving open access to a weapon that causes death to any child of any age but especially with a four year old in the house.

They said in the story that no charges were being filed against the four year old. Well duh is all I can think of to say. At least in the video they suggested that the parents may be charged with something. Negligence maybe? I would think so. I know I’m not perfect, far from it actually. But I also know not to leave a gun sitting around LOADED just waiting for the accident that’s sure to follow. I’m glad the babysitter is ok and I hope these parents have learned a valuable lesson.